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Wednesday, June 08, 2005

The Post Where I make a Lot of Enemies

Keeping in tradition with the name of my blog, here, in no particular order, are a list of things that I HATE.

1)Capri Pants
2)Mom Jeans. NO ONE should be wearing straight or tapered leg pants. NO ONE!
5)Being hungry
8)Hunting- Hey, lets kill an innocent creature! Sounds like fun! Pussies.
9)My Nose
10)People who don't buckle their kids in. It doesn't matter that you are a "good" driver, asshole.
11)Cancer. Fuck you cancer.
12)People who don't pick up their dog's poop. Do you think I like doing it? No. But, I do it so that our dogs can keep what little privileges they have left in NYC.
13)Law & Order. I don't know why, I just do.
14)My spine.
15)The fact that I can't work.
16)McDonalds. Pure Evil.
17)When people get YOUR and YOU'RE mixed up. YOU'RE means YOU ARE. YOUR is the possessive.
18)George W. Bush
19)Religious Fundamentalists
20)Religion. Man made. Built by guilt and fear. You don't need to practice "religion" to be close with God.
21)Racism. You're going to bake your self in the sun to turn brown, and yet you hate black people? Yea, that makes a whole lot of sense.
23)Cold showers
24)This country's obsession with working all of the time. Work should be PART of your life, not your WHOLE LIFE.
25)When people make stupid faces when they sing. Is that really necessary?
26)DJ's who won't play requests. Hey buddy, if no one is dancing, do you think maybe you should play one of the 20 songs we have requested?
27)The Yankees
28)People who let their children eat crap and play video games because they are too lazy to prepare wholesome food or entertain their children.
29)My camera
30)My lack of money
31)Not being a good writer. I have so many thing I want to say, I just don't know how to express them properly.
33)The cold
34)People who take on something huge in their lives like having a baby or adopting a dog without educating themselves first. If you were buying a car you'd do the fucking research first, right?
35)The packaging on CD's. What the fuck?
36)Got Milk? Ads.
37)Our government's relationship with certain companies and lobbyists that leads to the misleading and deception of the American public.
40)My addiction to sugar
41)The general public's lack of education about nutrition.
43)Stepping in cat vomit
44)Scooping the kitty litter
45)Washing the dishes
46)People who don't recycle. Selfish mother fuckers.
48)Chunks of tomatoes on my pizza.
49)People who press the elevator button more than once thinking that it will make the elevator come faster.
50)Bras. I don't wear them.
51)Underwear. I do wear them, but I hate it.
52)Cowboy boots
53)Uggs. They're fucking ugly people! Stop wearing shit just because it's trendy.
54)Mother nature, for only making two seasons this year (HOT and COLD), and for making me DESPERATELY want a baby.
55)Renee Zelweger's squinty face. Un-purse your lips and open your eyes for Gods sakes.
56)Not knowing how to end this post.

Ah, let the lambasting begin.

posted by Torrie at Wednesday, June 08, 2005 |


Commented by Blogger Spurious Plum:

Only one bone to pick:

#31 - Liar.

P.S. I hate Reese Whitherspoon.

1:31 PM 
Commented by Blogger Southern Fried Girl:

I was prepared to not like you by the end, but it did not happen. ;) As if. Anyways, these are the only ones that I disagreed with you on - #1, sorry I am addicted; #6, I love beef sometimes; #9, you have a cute nose; #16, I gotta have me a QP with Cheese sometimes, #38, I LOVE soda, but wish I did not. I think that's it. However, I could not agree more with the non-understanding of the whole "you're" and "your" issue. One is a damn contraction - that should be a clue people. After all that, so not hating you. Not even close. :)

2:31 PM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:

I hate my spine too. I'm totally down today. I am tired of hurting.

3:34 PM 
Commented by Blogger JessicaRabbit:

I hate you wearing underwear too. Live free I say! Free!

6:22 PM 
Commented by Blogger mrtl:

No lambasting from me. Hating is so much better than indifference. At least passion is involved.

8:02 PM 
Commented by Blogger Nilbo:

I will baste you, my little lamb ... and eat you all up ...

You're an excellent writer, so I'm with Pretend Tangerine in saying "Liaaaaar"

8:15 PM 
Commented by Blogger Nilbo:

Oh, and you know what I hate? I hate when pople are all "Bl;ah blah going to a wedding, pics t come, probably be boobies in 'em ... and we get .. wedding cake." Bah.

8:16 PM 
Commented by Blogger Susie:

OK, I'll be the disagreeable one. Ummm...... I think Renee Z. is adorable. I have SEEN you in a bra, looking mighty lovely, I might add... I really like Law and Order. All 3 of them.

9:52 PM 
Commented by Anonymous New Blue Shoe:

People who tell me to comment on their sites.


I add: "Grown business people who think that the customers that they have should be referred to as 'are customers'"

11:17 PM 
Commented by Anonymous kalki:

Nope, I adore you even more after this post. Sorry. :)

Although I must take this opportunity to state that I hate that your blog doesn't have the RSS feed enabled because I am always DAYS behind here.

GREAT pics (hats, cats, furniture store, the city out your window).

11:29 PM 
Commented by Blogger Mrs.Strizzay:

I am supposed to entertain my kids? isn't it enough I gave birth to them???? SHEEESH!!!

And your possesive!!!


12:49 AM 
Commented by Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes:

As for:
25)When people make stupid faces when they sing. Is that really necessary?

Yes. It is totally necessary. :)

Speakin' only for myself, the faces just happen. Tryin' to stop 'em would just be a distraction and I wouldn't be able to get "voice focused" enough to make the voice do what I want, when I want it.

Not sayin' I don't look sillier'n shit when I sing, but not as silly as many a guitar soloist (and no, they can't really help the "guitar face" either).

8:01 AM 
Commented by Anonymous Laryssa:

Adding onto #31 I hate that I don't have nearly enough time to write. It's killing me daily. I have my first novel all in my head, it's complete, but I have to find the time to type it all out. And I am a HORRIBLE typist so it's taking forever. I have about one day a month where I am really able to write and write and write. Which brings me to #24. I have to work, but it takes time away from what I feel in my heart I really should be doing which is writing. I feel stuck in a Catch-22. This is the world we live in. Maybe someday our economy will change and we will all be able to work simply to better ourselves as human beings and not have to work just to live. But I have hope. MANY writers started out as admin such as myself and though it's hard, it IS possible to hold down a job and write. I tell myself this daily. And ya know what, I'm just going to have to learn to say no to people and make myself a priority and make time to fulfill my dreams! That's it! I've decided. It begins today!

2:55 PM 
Commented by Blogger Weetzie:

#39 love the cuppa joe now and again.
#2 please enlighten me as to what kind of jeans I should be wearing because I don't want to be wearing mom jeans (even tho I am a mom)
#28 I have made a superhuman attempt to keep my kids from eating junk and playing video games but now that they are ages 16 and 22...I can only say in my defense that I have instilled in them a great LOVE OF READING. *SIGH*
ps. feel free to correct my grammar anytime.

4:12 PM 
Commented by Blogger LeLo in NoPo:

#49-I'm right there with ya. PEOPLE: do you think it's going to come twice as fast if you keep poking the shit out of the button? NO IT"S NOT. I told a woman that once actually. She looked at me and said, really?

It was a very slow ride together in the elevator after that.

6:47 PM 
Commented by Anonymous blogaholic:

I think your-just kidding YOU'RE a very good writer. I'm with you on many of your list items. You have a lot of very good points here.

7:51 PM 
Commented by Blogger Lazy Lightning:

I used to hate capri pants (my grandma calls them 'clam diggers') but now, I have found that the world thanks me for wearing them instead of thigh exposing shorts!

8:28 PM 
Commented by Anonymous lawbrat:

Law and Order is my friend. I only started watching last year, but were close now. I still like you, even if you dont like my friend.

8:48 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Amy:

Oh-so-full-of-hatred-one: I have to say that while I don't hate Renee Zellweger, I do enjoy the fact that some friends of mine like to clal her "Bitter-Beer-Face-Girl." Apt, don't you agree.

1:40 PM 
Commented by Blogger Torrie:

My mother and I refer to Renee Zelweger as "constipation face".

1:42 PM 
Commented by Blogger mrtl:

Did you see Renee in Empire Records? She was such a #2 ho.

Side note on faces while singing. Much better to do that than to stand right in front of the stage with your fucking liner notes in one hand and the other doing the devil hand sign while headbanging and singing along.

2:52 AM 

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