Holy Crap! (Pun intended)
I am finally feeling somewhat better. I am exhausted.
At 10pm on Monday night just as the husband and I were about to leave his parents house my stomach started to bother me and I had a rather unfortunate experience in their bathroom.
How I made it the forty minute drive back to Manhattan without soiling myself is a miracle.
When we got home I spent about an hour in the bathroom emptying, what I can only assume to be, the entire previous week's worth of food into the toilet bowl.
At midnight drained and empty(so I thought), I went to sleep.
At 5am I was woken up by the worst stomach cramps I've ever felt.
I rushed to the bathroom wondering how there could possibly be anything left in me.
My body had other plans.I pooped blood.
And for those of you wondering, this was not "wipe my ass and there is some blood on the toilet paper" blood; this was "blood clotts shooting out of my ass" blood.
I was very scared, as blood had never come out of my butt before.
I woke up my husband and we entered a new phase of our relationship; I made him look at my poop (please note that I don't even pee in front of him). Well, except that it wasn't really poop. It was JUST
I'm sure he would prefer, if the next time I wake him up at 5am, that I'm wearing a French maid's outfit.
The husband and I had the first of many discussions about whether or not I should go to the hospital. We decided to see how the rest of the day went.
At 6am we called my mom and asked her to come to the city (she lives two hours away) because I couldn't leave the bathroom much less walk Dexter.
I spent the rest of the day drinking Gatorade, and making the noise "uhhhhhhhh."
I slept in the guest room next to my mother so that the husband could get some sleep.
I slept from midnight until 7am without getting up to poop.
I've only pooped once today (at 7am) and it was one tiny blood clot.
I'm feeling much better. I even had some toast and some soup.
Now, on to the mystery as to what exactly was wrong with me.
Was it the food I ate at my inlaws'?
We don't think so. Because:
a) Everyone ate the same food and no one else got sick
b) It happened too soon after I stopped eating
Was it this?
We don't think so. Because:
Have I mentioned how much I love my new shoes?
Here's what we think it is:
On Sunday morning before we left the Bed and Breakfast I had a some eggs. I like my eggs very well done and these were runny. The owner of the B&B made them just for me, so a felt obligated to at least take a couple of bites.
It's common with salmonella to experience bloody diarrhea.
It's also common for the symptoms to take 24-36 hours to show up.
For those of you who are mad at me for not going to the hospital, here are my reasons:
I'm married to a great doctor, who I trust.
I was peeing regularly, which means I wasn't dehydrated.
The husband brought drugs home from the hospital to inject me with, if I needed them.
My mommy was taking care of me.
There was NO WAY
I was pooping in a bed pan.
Seriously, leave me a message! .