Sunday, August 28, 2005

I woke up crying this morning.
Sleep used to be my solace, but now most of my dreams are confusing or sad.

My chest hurts.

The vet called and said that Mookie's test results were less than fabulous.
His urine was way too concentrated, and it had crystals and protein in it.
And, he's anemic.
We have him on the highest quality food available and he drinks from a cat water fountain which is supposed to encourage them to drink more water. And we give him a supplement daily to prevent this.
I have a feeling the next step is going to be a specialist.

Dexter woke up this morning with a HORRIBLE hot spot. It covers almost his entire crotch. It's his third in three weeks. We have been giving him benedryl every day to prevent his itchiness, and he's still getting them. I am going to have to take him to the vet tomorrow. She will put him on steroids. I hate giving him steroids.

The vet bills are really killing us financially.
When we took Mookie to the vet last week and it cost $721.
We have pet insurance, but they hardly reimburse anything, especially if it's a pre-existing condition.

We are BROKE.

I will sell everything I own to get my animals the help that they need.

I am picking someone up at the airport today because they start their new chemo regimen tomorrow.
I'm nervous.


I'm sorry that I've been such a downer lately.
I just don't have the energy to be funny these days.

I'll understand if a lot of you don't come around anymore.
Who wants to read all of this whiny, depressing shit?

Thank you all for all of your kind comments on my last post.
You have no idea how much you help me.

posted by Torrie at Sunday, August 28, 2005 |

18 Comments:

Commented by  Nilbo:

Don't waste your time on people who expect you to entertain then when you're up to your hips in the sewage that life sometimes allows to back up on us. If they don't come around, you're well shed of them ...

We'll be here ... your friends ... and while we may not have words of wisdom to offer or even much in the way of cogent comments, we feel for you and look forward to the day that will surely come soon, when you'll be happy and healthy and the stress is gone.

THEN you can entertain us. Till then, we're the ones who should be entertaining you.

2:45 PM 

Commented by  Anonymous:

I have yet to make a blogfriend who is only a fair-weather one. The blogworld has your back when no one else does - we'll be here, dear. Oh, we will BE here.

3:39 PM 

Commented by  TheStolenOlive:

I'm here. I'm still not sure if I have to have surgery yet and all of this has thrown me for a mental loop. I wish I had enough strength, like you, to throw it all out there.. but instead I make light of the situation on my blog and sit at home and worry myself sick. I've been skipping classes, cant make myself do homework. I'm doing the same load of laundry for the 5th time because I'm too lazy to hang it all up and once it sits in the dryer too long it gets wrinkled and I don't iron.

Keep your strength up and maybe one day I'll have enough to come clean and cry to everyone.

6:41 PM 

Commented by  Candy:

I will totally be here, and I understand what your saying, I would sell just about anything to get my babies the help they need as well.

Im so sorry about your kitty, I hope and pray he will be alright and I had a golden too, those hot spots are miserable and your right the steroids, yuck.

You know I have bad sleep and dream issues myself, if you ever want to talk, or compare our messed up dreams you know how to find me luv.

And fuck cancer, fuck it right in the ear.

smooches to you baby

6:53 PM 

Commented by  Bente:

Like everyone else said, I don't expect you to entertain me. I really hope things start to look up for you and your pets. I'll still be here reading everyday regardless what you write about.

8:11 PM 

Commented by  Random and Odd:

*HUG*

WE are here for you.

8:27 PM 

Commented by  c:

Nothing much to add but my voice to the "we've got your back" cry.

11:38 PM 

Commented by  Katy Barzedor:

I'm sorry your babies don't feel good.
Hugs from Snickers and me.

9:18 AM 

Commented by  Annejelynn:

big huge, eye-popping hugs to you and your babies~

1:04 PM 

Commented by  Anonymous:

You couldnt get rid of us if you tried. It wont work. Every comment here is from the heart and filled with love to you. No matter if you joyous or depressed or going insane.
Dont forget that, and know we will be here.

1:32 PM 

Commented by  Elizabeth:

I completely understand and relate to doing the impossible for your pets. We went through the same thing. It always seemed like the catastrophes happened when we were at our poorest. You know what though? They are so worth it. I would not be anywhere near as content as I am without Gage and Reba's lunacy. I will say prayers for you all.

3:19 PM 

Commented by  diana:

Hi Torrie

Just saw this post... haven't read the one before yet, but, wanted to let you know about a website I recently came across..
http://www.pet-grub.com/

You get a little info from skimming the site, but, she lets you print the whole thing out for 'free' - but asks for a donation.. I only gave her $10, but the thing is HUGE once you print it...
Anyway.. I have yet to read the whole thing, but wanted to let you know I think it's worthwhile...
skimmed some pertinent parts regarding my doggie's problem..
I have a rescued Schnauzer, Lucy, and she keeps getting a recurring skin problem every summer.. lots of itching, hot spots, which leads to raw skin basically..
One thing I saw in this 'book' is to add essential fatty acids, and greens...
I got an Omega oil supplement from Whole Foods, and a "greens" pill supplement, and I really do think it's already helping her...
It also mentioned giving flax seed for the omega 3 or something - need to keep reading, but I think there really is something to what they eat/ingest.
We feed ours high quality food too - currently they're on Merrick, and basically no treats.

So, give it a look.
And.. you talking about your rough spell isn't going to scare me away either.
Your bravery in doing so gives me a little courage to be more honest in my own blog. I haven't updated it recently because a couple IRL people know the address, and I'm afraid of what they'd think of me if they read my truth...
isn't that stupid?
Thought I'd be over that by now.

One day at a time, Torrie.
Or even, one hour at a time.. whatever you need.

be well

10:07 PM 

Commented by  Whyme:

Torrie;

Dealing with sick pets is hard and it sounds like life is throwing you a few curve balls. Hang in there.

We don't need to be entertained all the time...and this is the internet. There is porn out there somewhere if we need a good laugh.

We'll be here, no matter what and when you are back to writing in the witty style that we all love and come back for.

**BIG BIG HUGS**
Take care and we are here if you need us.

10:16 PM 

Commented by  Vajana:

that is why blogs are so great...you instantly get a hug when things are down. We are all here for you! Warm wishes and good mojo heading your way from my place!

8:22 AM 

Commented by  Unknown:

Aw, honey... I'm so sorry life is beating you (and those you love) with a mean stick.

I'll be thinking good thoughts for you and hope you're doing ok.

Hugs,
Circus Kelli

9:22 AM 

Commented by  The Q:

Please don't apologize for being REAL and having REAL issues to deal with. You aren't a make believe person who has no problems or issues. We all know that and that IS why we come back each and every time. You are a person we all care about, no entertainment required on your part.

I'm so, SO sorry about Mookie and Dexter! Boy do I feel your pain. I spent over $2,000 on one of my cats last year due to a "mystery illness". The $2K just basically kept him alive...I'd go visit him every single day in the hospital, spend HOURS with him in his cage. Then finally, one day the Dr. said "We can't do much else for him. Take him home, if he starts throwing up (blood!) again, bring him back". He never threw up again. He's fine to this day. I would have spent an add'l $2K if I had to. No joke and I had to put it on a credit card because like you, I just plain flat out did not have the money.

Sending you lots and LOTS of good vibes. Hang in there!!

11:28 AM 

Commented by  Susie:

Why would anyone even COME to a place called "I pretty much hate everything," if they weren't perfectly fine with hearing whiny, depressing shit? Don't be silly. No one's going anywhere.

1:18 PM 

Commented by  halloweenlover:

I can totally sympathize with the crushing sadness that accompanies one of my pets being sick. I also love them far beyond all reason and logic : )

I hope both of your babies are feeling better soon. And that you are feeling better soon too!

4:18 PM 

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