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Friday, September 16, 2005

Getting it off my chest

There is something that has been going on in the blog world lately that has been bothering me:

The idea that if you have money or certain privileges, that you're not "real".

I find that for the very popular bloggers, if they aren't constantly complaining about their financial situation or the latest problem in their life, the blog community turns on them.

If they go on a trip to a nice place, get a book deal, go for a pedicure, mention meeting/hanging out with someone well known, or post a picture of themselves they get comments like "Well, aren't you full of yourself" and "not all of us can afford to get a pedicure".

What's wrong with working hard, and as a result, treating yourself to things?
It doesn't make you any less "real".

Just because someone blogs open and honestly doesn't mean they're writing every detail of their lives, and yet, people are so quick to judge.

I am going to the Hamptons tomorrow. I will be staying in an amazing multi-million dollar house right on the water. It's the same house I got married at.
But, what does that have to do with me? With my financial situation?
Just because I have friends with money doesn't mean I'm "full of myself".

What if I did have money?

A few years from now the husband will be making a lot of money, and I will be able to live in a big house and buy nice clothes and get manicures and pedicures.
I'll still be me though.
I'll still have problems like everyone else.

If you have money does it relinquish your right to be unhappy about something?

If you're an amazing writer and you get a book deal does it mean you've "sold out"?

It's one thing to voice your opinion or participate in a debate, but it's another to insult someone's character.

I just don't get it.
If you don't like what someone says on their blog, just go somewhere else.

posted by Torrie at Friday, September 16, 2005 |


Commented by Blogger Charlotte in Pa:

Amen, sister, amen! (I KNEW you were totally jealous of my vacation to Arizona... in AUGUST)

2:23 PM 
Commented by Blogger Fuzzball:

I agree with you, all the way. Unfortunately when I say "if you don't like the blog, then go somewhere else" I usually get this response: "if you can't handle the hecklers then don't publicly post your thoughts."

Seems like a catch-22...

3:01 PM 
Commented by Blogger mrtl:

I have no coherent thoughts in response. There's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself within your means. And blogs are personal journals, so if you write about it, those who don't like it (or are jealous or whatever) can feck off.

Have a wonderful weekend!

4:20 PM 
Commented by Blogger JessicaRabbit:

I think you could perhaps be full of yourself, but you could prove me wrong by taking me with you so I can see for myself how normal and relaxed you are.

Like, hey do you shower the same as the rest of us? Maybe you should let me watch so I can decide and report back.

So I mean, you could just let me think you have become all snobby on us, or you could let me see you naked. Which one works better for you?


Have a great weekend, you deserve it. Take lots of (naked) pictures.

4:24 PM 
Commented by Blogger Candace:

Yeah, go somewhere else!

I don't have a problem with people who have money. I just want them to be my friends so I can have some of the fun, too!

(Only partly serious!)

4:46 PM 
Commented by Blogger Nessa:

I missed out on that going on...I hope I wasn't an offender :) But have fun on your vacation - it sounds way cool!

5:31 PM 
Commented by Blogger Closet Metro:

I second everything that Jessica said.

5:31 PM 
Commented by Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes:

I could just hug you for writing this. Why wouldn't you want to see your favorite bloggers succeed? Does it always have to be such a sour grapes thing?

Can't we all just get along, man?
And, barring that, can't we all just get a schlong?

And if you take me along to the Hamptons, I won't try to invade your shower, but I might run up your bar tab. Just so you know.

6:25 PM 
Commented by Blogger afdalieuroiuf:

i say, why can't we all wear a thong? or why can't we all smoke a bong?

8:14 PM 
Commented by Blogger Susie:

Oh, Raz. Honey, I could give you some reasons, BIG reasons, why we all can't wear a thong. I'm just sayin'...

I must not frequent the sites of the rich and famous, because I am unfamiliar with such goings on. However, like the good folk here have said, if someone is successful, and rewarded for doing well, I'm nothing but happy for them. Envy is so ugly. I've had this conversation with my therapist, actually. Some of us, myself, and perhaps most people here, see the world through a lens of abundance -- if someone does well, good for them! That doesn't mean I won't do well. It might even encourage me to try harder, if I want the success that they have. Some of us see the world through a lens of deprivation -- "their" getting something means there's less for me. That's craziness.

However, I will say that I think you, Torrie, are totally full of yourself and a total snob-ass sellout. Unless you invite me to your lovely place in the Hamptons in a few years, and then I will defend you mightily on my blog that 25 people read quite regularly :)

10:40 PM 
Commented by Blogger Susie:

Why can't we all just sing a song?

Why can't we all just bang a gong?

Why can't we all play Donkey Kong?

10:41 PM 
Commented by Blogger Annejelynn:


(pbbst! Torrie's a hottie!)

1:04 AM 
Commented by Blogger Spurious Plum:

Screw the haters.

Torrie, you're my favorite Hamptons Tramp.

Missed you oodles and boodles.

1:35 AM 
Commented by Blogger Whyme:

Mean people suck. Plain and simple.

Really, would many people WANT the hassles that too much money can bring?

Some people are just not happy unless they are putting others down or raining on their parades.

Have a great weekend. Send postcards.

p.s. Swa the boobie/white pic shot on flickr....NIiiiiice.

10:27 AM 
Commented by Blogger ScottyGee:

I have not noticed any of this going on, but if it is it just comes with the territory. There will always be trolls and those that hide behind anonimity to belittle others. Rest ssured, there is nothing wrong with you and there is definitely something wrong with them.

We should all wish the best for everyone.

The people's blog I read and those that comment on my site seem to be the good ones. I am proud to have such aan awesome group of blog buddies. Haters be damned. =)

1:31 PM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:

Torrie-I just wanted to say that I totally agree with you. I have not witnessed this happening to anyone but it fucking sucks that people would actually act fucking stupid. The nice thing about blogging is that no one really knows who you are..if you have money, if you live in the projects etc. I don't care where people live or how much money they have.
People are such haters.

9:40 PM 
Commented by Blogger Amanda B.:

Excellent point. There's not a damn thing wrong with working hard for what you have. Or having good things happen to you. Why aren't we more happy for people when success happens to them?

1:41 AM 
Commented by Anonymous Laryssa:

Wow! Jealousy is an insidious monster, isn't it?

As one of the poorer masses, I for one hate the "woe is me" thing and would jump off the Brooklyn bridge if all I wrote about was the negatives in my life. Didn't Dickens teach us that even in the bleakest and most dire of circumstances there is love and life to experience if only we remain open? Plus, and please excuse me for the rudeness, but unless Katrina cost you your home and livelihood, how can you play the "woe is me" game?

Just one reason why I don't blog. I just lurk. ;)

9:50 AM 
Commented by Anonymous sarcastic journalist:

Even though I'd like to have money, I don't hate the people who do. I think, if anything, because I have said I don't have any, I'm scared to post if I do something. I don't need 50 people emailing to say "Why did you go here if you don't have any money?"

I think people just need something to gripe about.

12:12 PM 

Seriously, leave me a message! Post a Comment.


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