Monday, September 26, 2005

Shredded

For my birthday my mother in law gave me a gift certificate to Bloomingdales.
As much as I would have liked to have spent it all on makeup, I decided to be sensible and buy some sweaters. I REALLY needed sweaters.
Because they were having a sale, I managed to get five sweaters. I would like to tell you about my favorite sweater.
I have been fantasizing about the perfect sweater in my mind for a few years now. Tan/camel colored, cashmere, long sleeve.
I would wear it with my jeans and boots on the weekend in the fall whilst I strolled through Central Park with the husband, arm in arm, admiring the beautiful colors of the trees, not a care in the world. OR, I would wear it sipping tea at the Waldorf Astoria with my chocolate colored slacks or my chocolate colored skirt, the society women nodding at me with approval.
Regardless of whether or not either of those things would actually happen, I still really wanted that freaking sweater.
Then I saw it. Right there in Bloomingdales waiting for me to give it a new home.
I would never splurge on something like that for myself, but this was a gift certificate people!
So, I brought it home, and in its Bloomingdales bag it sat.
I've been meaning to reorganize my clothes, but summer has been clinging on, and it hasn't been time to make the switch from spring/summer clothes to fall/winter clothes.
So, I left the sweater in the closet in the hallway. Behind closed doors in its brown paper cocoon for safe keeping.

Yesterday morning the husband woke up early to pee and he decided to feed the cats so they wouldn't stand outside our bedroom door and yowl.
When he walked into the living room he found this on the floor:


My dream sweater, DESTROYED.
One of the cats opened the closet door, took the sweater out of the bag, dragged it into the living room and slit its throat like it was enemy #1.
We weren't sure which cat did it until I walked a few feet from the now destroyed sweater to my desk to upload the picture and this happened:


At first I thought maybe Mookie was just enjoying THE sweater's amazing softness, but then this happened:


RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES.

OH THE HORROR!

Mookie better thank the kitty gods that he's so cute.

posted by Torrie at Monday, September 26, 2005 |

15 Comments:

Commented by  Sherriatric:

Bad Mookie, BAD!!!

You could still wear it over here in Hipsterville...I mean, Brooklyn.

10:27 PM 

Commented by  Susie:

BUSTED! Mookie, how could you?

11:15 PM 

Commented by  Candy:

Oh no! At least Hermione only steals daddies dirty socks.

Cats are the supreme evil incarnate. Never forget.

Poor sweater never even got a chance to wrap itself around your luscious hoots.

sniffle sniffle

1:00 AM 

Commented by  Ern:

Oh, the HORROR!

Cats are like babies--damn lucky they're cute, or they would be thrown right out the window.

2:38 AM 

Commented by  Vajana:

oh my gosh, hide all the other sweaters!! Cats are only doing these things in hopes we will finally release them from the awful torture we have created for them. You know, the petting, and the food, and the toys and...

11:03 AM 

Commented by  Anonymous:

Oh NO. I bet your heart just sank. Bad kitty! Mookie- you better keep mama's feet warm this winter for that one.

7:20 PM 

Commented by  Amanda B.:

Eeep! That is a BAD kitty!

It's so funny that you fantisize about clothes like that. So do I. :D

8:16 PM 

Commented by  Anonymous:

MOOK!

bad bad kitty.

Hey, Torrie...I need to talk to you. I need my friend. :(

8:21 PM 

Commented by  Whyme:

That is sad. I would probably still wear it as well....

6:45 AM 

Commented by  Sarcomical:

ill...

i am just ill.

poor poor cashmere.

8:10 PM 

Commented by  ScottyGee:

The urge to strangle would be too overwhelming for me to resist...

12:24 AM 

Commented by  Anonymous:

I would have screamed and then quite possibly sobbed. Oh, and that strolling through Central Park/having tea thing was hysterical. I do that, too, as if THIS SWEATER or THAT PAIR OF PANTS is going to change my life forever. And in this case, your sweater just might have. But now you'll never know...damn cat.

9:18 AM 

Commented by  Unknown:

I would love to say my kitties would never do something like that, but as I was rolling around laughing (sorry, I can't help it - die evil sweater die!) Jopp jumped up on my bedhead and started eating my chicken stirfry. which I have already picked out the chicken from.... weird cats will drive us all insane!

ps: wdgraan as verification - I'm getting close to a word, the aliens are almost thru!

9:26 AM 

Commented by  Annejelynn:

how bizarre - a cashmere eating kitty cat?

4:09 AM 

Commented by  Annejelynn:

I'm with Ern!

4:11 AM 

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