I love you, now I'm going to take a shit.
We have an older cat that I hardly ever talk about. Her name is Annie.
Annie doesn't have the best personality in the world and she HATES the other two cats.
When we were living in Massachusetts all three cats had the run of the house and Annie spent most of her time hiding behind a box in the attic, hissing.
We decided this was no life for her so we tried something; we moved her into our bedroom and closed the door. The two younger cats were not allowed in.
Now, some people thinks it's cruel to keep a cat locked in one room, but Annie loved the isolation. She was never much of a player, we had bought her several toys and she just stared at them. Occasionally, she plays with her own tail, attacking it like it's the mortal enemy. She spent her days sleeping and watching the birds out the window, and her nights sleeping on my head and purring. ON MY HEAD.
I got used to sleeping on a vibrating pillow, but when we moved to Manhattan Annie started a new nightly routine that is driving me crazy.
1)I get in to bed and she comes up to me and slams her head into me repeatedly.
2)I roll over, turn the light off, and begin the battle of trying to fall asleep.
3)Annie starts eating her food. LOUDLY
4)Annie takes a crap. This entails scratching at the wall for ten minutes and beating the shit (pun intended) out of the door on the litter box.
5)She then runs over to her scratching post and goes to town
6)Finally, she Jumps on the bed, walks across my chest, and takes up residence on my pillow.
It's at this point that my nostrils start burning (as the husband sleeps, blissfully unaware, next to me) and I have to get out of bed, to scoop the kitty litter.
I think that her ritual is a celebration of my return to the bedroom. I really do. She digs me, and the husband and I are the only two people she is comfortable with.
It's like "Mommy is here! Hooray! I think I'll have a festival!"
I hope when I have human babies they don't celebrate when they see me by crapping their pants. Unfortunately, from what I know of babies, I think I'm in trouble.
Seriously, leave me a message! .