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Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I should have known this was going to happen

So, as most of you know, I'm trying to get pregnant.
The problem is, I don't know how to do anything half-assed, so it's pretty much taken over my life.
This is how I deal with any big change in my life- research.

Before we got Dexter I spent hours reading books about dog training and which breed was Right for us.
I even bought a pet naming book.

Before we even got engaged I started reading bridal magazines. I told everyone I was doing research for work (at the time I was doing wedding cakes), but we all know that was just a lie.
When we finally got engaged, and I started planning the wedding, I spent about 40 hours a week on it.
When we got home from the honeymoon there was this huge void. I just stared at the computer screen thinking "now what do I do?"

When someone I care about gets sick I immediately run to the bookstore and buy all the books on their illness. I then come home and Google away. I've actually had several doctors say to me "Wow. You know more about this that I do."

So, when we decided to start trying to get pregnant, my usual insanity took over.
First (after, of course, HOURS of research on the computer, and tons of books and magazines were read) I bough an ovulation kit and a basal thermometer.
Every morning I would take my temperature and twice a day (I read somewhere that it was better to do it twice a day) I took the ovulation predictor test.
If any of you have even taken an ovulation predictor test then you will probably understand this:
They're IMPOSSIBLE to read. It's not like a pregnancy test where one line means your not pregnant and two lines means you are.
There are always two pink lines. The trick is deciphering which one is darker.
I was constantly running out of the bathroom shoving the little stick in the husband's face saying "Do you think this line is darker than that line? Huh? Huh?"
I finally figured it out and I think I should seriously consider getting a degree in hieroglyphics. IT WAS THAT HARD.
When the tests finally indicated I would be ovulating soon, I dragged the husband into the bedroom. At least that part was fun.
Now, for those of you who know anything about basic reproductive science, It takes anywhere from 12-72 hours after sex for the egg to be fertilized and then another 48-72 hours for the fertilized egg to travel to it's final resting place.
How long did I wait to start taking pregnancy tests?
I am insane.
All of the literature says the earliest a pregnancy test will work is five days before your expected period. I haven't even reached that point yet and I've already taken SEVEN pregnancy tests.
I'm probably not pregnant. Things never come easy for me and WE JUST STARTED TRYING.
It takes some people YEARS to get pregnant.

I hope I get pregnant soon because I really don't know how to overcome my insanity.

If I don't get pregnant any time soon, well, at least the companies who make pregnancy test will have a good year.

posted by Torrie at Wednesday, November 09, 2005 |


Commented by Blogger Erica:

Just found your blog a couple of days ago and LOVE it!

I was the SAME way when hubby and I started trying. Luckily a good friend told me about the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. Don't know if you've read it or not, but that is all I used. We thought it would take a few months for us to actually get pregnant, but in actuality it only took a month (good hubby and his super sperm)! My advice to you would be to take all that Ovulation predictor kit crap and lock it away, and check out this book from your library, or buy it. Works like clockwork if you or your hubby don't have some other condition that might make it difficult to concieve.

Just wait till you GET pregnant. You sound too much like me. I then became OBSESSED with reading pregnancy books and finding out what exactly the baby was doing each week. I would eat certain foods each week based on what part of him/her was developing to make sure I was doing everything perfectly. Pregnant women are looney...have fun, it's a CRAZY ride!!

10:47 AM 
Commented by Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes:

Wow. Of course, I'd be lyin' all the time:
"Oooooh, I'm ovulating, let's go do it."
"But you've been ovulating the last 26 days in a row. Isn't that impossible?"
"You gonna bang me or argue with my eggs, mister?"

11:31 AM 
Commented by Anonymous Nothing But Bonfires:

God, the ovulation kit sounds like one of those tests you do at the opticians: "which line is darker, the one on the left or the one on the right? What about if I add this lens? What about now? What about now? What about if you close your left eye? What about if you close your right one? What about now?"

Perhaps beforehand, you should make your husband read the third line of type on the ovulation kit box. You know, just for practice.

11:38 AM 
Commented by Blogger Miz BoheMia:


I just stumbled upon your blog and love it. I do not like sugar coated crap and I must say that the title of the blog got me here and then the subject is something I can relate to so here I am!

I got pregnant with my daughter by accident but my son was planned. I am the same type of person as you. During my pregnancy I read 9 books ranging from breastfeeding, to discipline, to child development, etc...

So, with planning my second pregnancy I was no-nonsense about it, let's go, jump in the sack mister! I didn't do any ovulation kits or other such methods. My techinique was simple... sex everyday and if more than once, awesome.

Surprisingly to me, after a while it felt like a chore but we made it through and within that first month of trying I got pregnant! I have several friends who did the same and had similar results.

Age and other factors do play a role so I understand that it may not be that simple for everyone but hey, it is worth a shot!

Anyway, I plan on linking to you and would love it if you would check out my blog at

Other than that, I, as well as all your other readers I am sure, have my fingers crossed for you and will be checking in for the latest news!

12:41 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Amanda B.:

Thank God I'm not the only one who does this. And then I CRY when it's negative. Hello...psycho much?? :D

2:03 PM 
Commented by Blogger Nilbo:

Okay, as loathe as I am to give advice, I'm gonna do it this one time. This is advice from your Unca Nilbo, and it's verifiably wise:

Extra effort and self-inflicted stress are counter-productive in almost any life situation - and especially - emphatically - in efforts to become pregnant.

It feels counterintuitive to relax and let events take their course - as if you are ceding control over a situation which you ought to be able to influence. I understand that. But that's just the way it works, and there really is no getting around it.

If you think for one second, you can come up with the name of a couple you know who tried desperately for months or years to conceive a child. They tried every method known to man (or woman), shed billions of tears, and finally gave up. They put their names on a list for adoption, and .. OK, you finish the story ...

Why did they get pregnant after they had given up and accepted their fate and moved on in their thinking? There are a number of theories, but essentially, it boils down to one of two things: the psychological pressures they had inflicted on themselves had manifested in an physiological inabilty to have babies ... or ... God has a sense of humour.

Either way, you have to battle the demons that compel you to inflict stress on yourself. They are not just making the process unpleasant - they are actively working against your success.

Take a deep breath, relax, enjoy life, and let the universe unfold as it should. You have no real control over this, Torrie. Accept that. Feel free to monitor it, the way we might monitor a weather forecast. But unless you can turn storms aside (in which case, I suspect Amanda B. and SFG might want to have a word with you), don't feel you can control this.

You know that feeling when you sit in an airplane, and you're a little tense, and it starts to taxi and you say "Well ... nothing I can do about it now."? That's where you have to get to.

I know from personal experience how hard that is. I have lived through the whole "Get home, I'm ovulating" thing, and the trip-me-and-beat-me-to-the-floor-every-night thing. I know how exquisitely painful it is to meet with "failure" month after month. Trust me, I know.

But I also know that once you let go of the illusion of control (for that is what it is), then you stand a much better chance of getting pregnant ... and the experience will be much richer for everyone.

7:14 PM 
Commented by Blogger Caroline:

I saw some pregnancy tests at the dollar store. That might save you some money ;)

And just wait until you have to name the kid.

Oh yea, that'll be the hard part :D

10:12 PM 
Commented by Blogger JessicaRabbit:

I'll tell you how to get pregnant.

Just pretend your an unwed teenager.

Works EVERY time.

3:46 AM 
Commented by Blogger Torrie:

Nilbo, easier said than done.

12:00 PM 
Commented by Blogger Sarcomical:

your admitting to neurosis about this is so sweet. ;) i hope you succeed soon. though until then, i imagine your posts will be pretty entertaining...

5:50 PM 
Commented by Blogger Lasadh:

Does Costco sell pregnancy tests? ;-)

7:33 PM 
Commented by Blogger mrtl:

Why are you blogging when you should be having sex?

;) ::hugs::

7:52 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Amber W.:

I took about 10 tests a month for the year that we tried to get pregnant. When I finally got a positive I had to wake my husband up (he works swing shifts) to make sure that I wasn't hallucinating. Good Luck!!!!

10:48 AM 
Commented by Blogger Susie:

Ohlordhavemercy. I think I've spent more money on ovulation predictor kits than I did on infertility treatment. You are so right about them being unreadable. Gosh, I could have written this post, not that long ago. Only stopped buying them in the last couple of years. In fact, it was just last week that I threw out a few of the little unreadable sticks. If I come across any more, I'll send them to you. I just deleted a bunch of assvice. You'll get your baby. You absolutely will.

12:20 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Sarah:

Hello! I just stumbled across your blog via la Fuzzball (who I went to middle school with back in the day and whose blog I totally randomly stumbled across a few months back, yay) ... ANYway. I, too, could have written this post like four days ago. We just started trying this month, and I went bananas. Tests, temperatures, two sets of software (trial versions at least), and more tests. Then in a cosmic twist of fate, I was five days late for like the first time in years. Then I really went insane. Thennnn there was yesterday and the cramps. Urgh.

Anyway, hugs, glad I'm not the only one, and thanks for not using the word "babydancing" anywhere.

For future reference (and obsession), that Taking Charge of Your Fertility Book is awesome, and I have heard that the Dollar Store pregnancy tests are actually pretty good.

Good luck!

12:35 AM 
Commented by Blogger Netpowersoft:

This is looking really nice stuff..
Well you win my heart..

i am lovin this blog...
This is a cool stuff

12:32 PM 
Commented by Blogger introspectre:

Oh dear god.

I think you and I should be friends. I'm the same way with, you know, everything. I think they call it compulsive obsessive, but I like to call it "Thorough".


10:43 AM 
Commented by Blogger AnonymousNewYork:

I am the same way about things! I am sure I will do the same when I decidto have a kid!

Love your blog!


1:57 PM 

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