Moving on up

Well, the time has finally come for me to move on. I still have a lot of work to do, but let me know what you think.

Check out my new site.

Don't forget to change your links!

And, a final FUCK YOU to Blogger!

Oh Well

I got my period.

I love you, now I'm going to take a shit.

We have an older cat that I hardly ever talk about. Her name is Annie.
Annie doesn't have the best personality in the world and she HATES the other two cats.


When we were living in Massachusetts all three cats had the run of the house and Annie spent most of her time hiding behind a box in the attic, hissing.
We decided this was no life for her so we tried something; we moved her into our bedroom and closed the door. The two younger cats were not allowed in.
Now, some people thinks it's cruel to keep a cat locked in one room, but Annie loved the isolation. She was never much of a player, we had bought her several toys and she just stared at them. Occasionally, she plays with her own tail, attacking it like it's the mortal enemy. She spent her days sleeping and watching the birds out the window, and her nights sleeping on my head and purring. ON MY HEAD.

I got used to sleeping on a vibrating pillow, but when we moved to Manhattan Annie started a new nightly routine that is driving me crazy.
1)I get in to bed and she comes up to me and slams her head into me repeatedly.
2)I roll over, turn the light off, and begin the battle of trying to fall asleep.
3)Annie starts eating her food. LOUDLY
4)Annie takes a crap. This entails scratching at the wall for ten minutes and beating the shit (pun intended) out of the door on the litter box.
5)She then runs over to her scratching post and goes to town
6)Finally, she Jumps on the bed, walks across my chest, and takes up residence on my pillow.

It's at this point that my nostrils start burning (as the husband sleeps, blissfully unaware, next to me) and I have to get out of bed, to scoop the kitty litter.

I think that her ritual is a celebration of my return to the bedroom. I really do. She digs me, and the husband and I are the only two people she is comfortable with.
It's like "Mommy is here! Hooray! I think I'll have a festival!"

CRAPTASTIC!

I hope when I have human babies they don't celebrate when they see me by crapping their pants. Unfortunately, from what I know of babies, I think I'm in trouble.

If you are so inclined...

Tracy posted the rest of the photos from her trip to New York. Take a look if you'd like to see the infamous monkey pants, the animals, Dr. Torrie grabbing his crotch, and me wearing a total of 4 (if I remember correctly) different hats.

I should have known this was going to happen

So, as most of you know, I'm trying to get pregnant.
The problem is, I don't know how to do anything half-assed, so it's pretty much taken over my life.
This is how I deal with any big change in my life- research.

Before we got Dexter I spent hours reading books about dog training and which breed was Right for us.
I even bought a pet naming book.

Before we even got engaged I started reading bridal magazines. I told everyone I was doing research for work (at the time I was doing wedding cakes), but we all know that was just a lie.
When we finally got engaged, and I started planning the wedding, I spent about 40 hours a week on it.
EVERYTHING HAD TO BE PERFECT.
When we got home from the honeymoon there was this huge void. I just stared at the computer screen thinking "now what do I do?"

When someone I care about gets sick I immediately run to the bookstore and buy all the books on their illness. I then come home and Google away. I've actually had several doctors say to me "Wow. You know more about this that I do."
NO KIDDING.

So, when we decided to start trying to get pregnant, my usual insanity took over.
First (after, of course, HOURS of research on the computer, and tons of books and magazines were read) I bough an ovulation kit and a basal thermometer.
Every morning I would take my temperature and twice a day (I read somewhere that it was better to do it twice a day) I took the ovulation predictor test.
If any of you have even taken an ovulation predictor test then you will probably understand this:
They're IMPOSSIBLE to read. It's not like a pregnancy test where one line means your not pregnant and two lines means you are.
There are always two pink lines. The trick is deciphering which one is darker.
I was constantly running out of the bathroom shoving the little stick in the husband's face saying "Do you think this line is darker than that line? Huh? Huh?"
I finally figured it out and I think I should seriously consider getting a degree in hieroglyphics. IT WAS THAT HARD.
When the tests finally indicated I would be ovulating soon, I dragged the husband into the bedroom. At least that part was fun.
Now, for those of you who know anything about basic reproductive science, It takes anywhere from 12-72 hours after sex for the egg to be fertilized and then another 48-72 hours for the fertilized egg to travel to it's final resting place.
How long did I wait to start taking pregnancy tests?
TWO DAYS
I am insane.
All of the literature says the earliest a pregnancy test will work is five days before your expected period. I haven't even reached that point yet and I've already taken SEVEN pregnancy tests.
I'm probably not pregnant. Things never come easy for me and WE JUST STARTED TRYING.
It takes some people YEARS to get pregnant.

I hope I get pregnant soon because I really don't know how to overcome my insanity.

If I don't get pregnant any time soon, well, at least the companies who make pregnancy test will have a good year.

I just burped and it tasted like what I had for dinner LAST NIGHT.

Update

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much. I've been dealing with a huge family crisis and to be honest, blogging has felt like a chore lately.
When I'm feeling better I will blog about what a great time I had with Tracy and what an AMAZING person she is.
For now feel free to look at Tracy's pictures of her visit with me. Further proof that I am the least photogenic person in the world. (Bucky, there's multiple pictures of the monkey pants.)

Jon Armstrong is still working on my new blog and I promise I will have it up and running soon. I can not even begin to tell you how nice and patient he's been with me and my complete lack of computer knowledge.
If I was him I would have flown to New York and strangled me by now.

I am looking forward to hanging out with Sherri again, on Tuesday.

I owe packages to Kristine, Bucky, Jessica, Nilbo, MRTL, Amanda B., and Nessa (I feel like I'm forgetting someone).
I will try to get my act together and mail them out this week.

I apologize for being such a crappy blog friend in the past few weeks.

Bear with me....